Love Songs Promote Low Self Esteem - Don't Degrade yourself !

 How I depend on you……

Pain will double if you leave me now……. (“Oh Girl” – The Chi-Lites)

When I give my heart it will be completely 

Or I'll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.( “When I Fall In Love”- Nat King Cole)

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood

I know I could always be good
To one who'll watch over me (“Someone to Watch Over Me” – Linda Ronstadt)

Though I've tried to resist, being last on your list
But no other man's gonna do……….

Cause I'd rather be home feeling blue
So I'm saving all my love for you (“Saving All My Love for You” – Whitney Houston)

I've made up my mind
To live in memory of the lonesome times….

They say that time heals a broken heart
But time has stood still since we've been apart (“I Can’t Stop Loving You” – Ray Charles)

I don't need no money, fortune, or fame.
I've got all the riches baby one man can claim.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl). (“My Girl” – The Temptations)

And the list is endless. The love songs, its design and audience border on the premise of incompleteness which is a human predicament and struggle. We all look for that one perfect person in life who can make us complete.

So when you need somebody to make you complete, you have accepted that the incompleteness experienced by a human being is unnatural and unstable and to regain the naturalness and stability, one has to become complete. Completeness is assumed as a fixed and permanent condition and hence very stable.

The companies who sell love songs, lyricists, singers and a horde (lot) of other people who live off them are a well established business and routine. Like most of the advertisements, the concept of cashing on the people’s weak areas promising a solution through their product also applies here.

Being intelligent human beings, do we play along with the marketing strategies or do we use common sense.    

One basic understanding we all should base ourselves on is that we are all born beautiful and complete. The process of growing up creates a series of superficial and temporary voids in our completeness because this is what the times demand, a necessary skill to survive. To fill up this void, we strive, achieve and thus successfully survive. One should be able to distinguish the core completeness of an individual and the need to acquire a superficial survival skill amongst the many in a life time.

The core completeness is intact and will not change, no matter what you do, where you are and what your state of mind is. What has been permanent from the moment you are born is your completeness, your uniqueness, the special place you have in this world and the fact that you are irreplaceable. We are so caught up in the superficial details that we forget to realize who we really are, what our true potential is and how we can gather our strength.

Every child, every person should be made to realize this difference. The difference between the inherent completeness an individual possesses and all the other superficial cravings. If this happens the suicide rate in adolescents (teenagers) will drop drastically. Individuals will realize that a failed exam, a broken affair or an unsuccessful attempt will end up as jokes one can have a laugh at rather than giving up your life, or slipping into depression.            

How can a business enterprise influence and dictate your life? How insecure can one get, how little value do people have for their life? How can be permission given to a marketing strategy to lower your self esteem?

Author Bio:  Dr. Mrudula Lakkaraju, Professor,Trained from EFLU and a Doctorate from Osmania University. Prefers the designation of a trainer and a writer. Presented several academic articles to international and national seminars and conferences. Casual and creative writing is also her forte. A prolific reader and writer