How a Women Should Think ? - Obsession With Social Roles And Perfection

We worship perfection! It is immortalized in every form of media. We crave for it. We can never compromise on it. And it is what is making our lives miserable, this craving for perfection.

An average man needs to be tall, masculine, agile, followed and desired by the opposite gender. Apparently all the qualities are the highest in their category. So a person who is short, who does not sport a moustache, who cannot gather a following is not a man enough. The role is defined. You either fit into it or should be prepared to be treated as an outcast. As one grows old, he colors his hair, covers his bald patch, tries to walk briskly, and sports a moustache (a sign of virility), does 50 push-ups and leads a group. He carries this burden as in spite of his suffering, he fits. It is a burden.

An average woman needs to be fair, sharp nosed, slim, should know how to cook, should be able to bear children ( boys particularly) should keep herself decorated and attractive for the opposite gender. So a woman who is dark, short, working, unable to bear children is a misfit and a subject of social ridicule.

I am a woman, so a woman’s point of view is dominant in this article.

Long hair – I feel we would save lot of time if we kept it short. Just imagine the number of hair care products we all buy for that illusional thick lustrous hair.

Sarees – An invention around 150 years old. Unbelievable! Though much touted as traditional and dignified, I find it very limiting. I cannot walk fast, run, and climb or do any other physical tasks without being worried about indecent exposure. I find shelwar kameez a liberating alternative although I find the chunni very cumbersome.

High heels - To be feminine, a woman has to learn to wear high heels, as it gives a sway to the walk enhancing the feminity (as opposed to masculinity). By wearing high heels one becomes physically incompetent to walk fast, run and hence are dependent on men, fuelling chivalry. When I see young girls walking back from their colleges and workplaces in the evenings, feet tired and rebelling in those high heels they still put up a brave face and try to cover their limp. It is saddening.

I am avoiding discussing many other issues to keep the air of this article simple and easy to comprehend!! On the same note I would like to congratulate all of them who had the courage to understand who they are and suffer & struggle not to fit in.

Isn’t perfection a non reality and a burden? Isn’t it time we celebrate imperfection. Revel in who we are instead of trying hard to fit into an image and to be accepted. We shell out huge amounts of money, putting your health at risk in doing things which are ridiculous from commonsensical point of view. Instead we should be able to turn our energies in understand our bodies, our skin types and our health profiles. We should exercise our logical thinking capacity in creating our individual profile and consciously resist from fitting into an image from our mind. The most ridiculous part is we don’t even know who put that perfect image in our mind which is an anti of everything that I am in the first place.

-Dr. Mrudula Lakkaraju